Astro-bysmal, anyone?

puperplumberAnyone having plumbing problems? The toilet becomes unblocked. Well, at the end of August, anyway. Look, the reason it’s happening is twofold: karma; we’ve been here before. Do you see the similarities to what’s happening now and what happened before? I know, I know. It seems much worse now, but not much is worse than a holocaust and an atom bomb or two. Really. So, perspective. 2nd reason: We didn’t do anything about it the first time. Well, the greatest generation did, but I mean, all the little roaches just went underground or went to Argentina or shut up until they felt emboldened by our Predator-in-Chief. Did we really do anything about prejudice, bullies, guns, the war machine, spies, sexual abuse? Okay, this is time for a re-do, folks. At least, the young’uns are on board with this. Good for y’all, much-maligned millennials & Gen Z. Come on down!
Okay, let’s talk astrology. From now until mid-October, we have something called a T-square involving Mars, the action planet (aka god of war/business), hanging with South Node (what happened before) in Aquarius (let’s separate people OR let’s come together, your choice) and North Node in look-at-me, loud Leo (“I’m the authority of my life, and I say so!”) They are T-bone-ing Uranus/Eris, the disruptor twins, in earthly normally-stable Taurus. (Well, not now!) If you think of a car getting T-boned, you know that it’s like getting slapped upside the head when you least expected it, and it doesn’t feel good. Only in metal, real hard. Right now, the reason people have been a bit upset for the last few weeks is, first we had a solar eclipse on the Cancer/Capricorn axis, with Mommy Cancer Sun giving the eff-you to Cap-Daddy Pluto. (Also view that as: matriarchy vs. patriarchy, nurture vs. punishment) Then this latest aspect over the weekend has included a Sun conjunction to Leo North Node, with a lunar eclipse, the Blood Moon, accentuating the detaching but stubborn Aquarian Mars.
The light is shining (Sun in Leo) on ourselves: what are we gonna do? What are you gonna do? What am I gonna do? “I love myself,” says Leo, “therefore I am going to do what’s good for me.” You can see how selfish people are taking this to one extreme, and more selfless people are saying, “I don’t care the personal cost; I will do what I know in my heart is right.” Leo is, after all, the zodiac sign of the save-the-day Superman/SuperWoman; the shy faulty, secretly retiring person who suddenly says, “I’m not gonna take it anymore!” who jumps out of the window to save the children or dies trying. The Sun shines a light on both our selfish and altruistic sides. The eclipse is accentuating it, because emotions become involved.
Aquarian emotions are in a jar, over there. That means, the Aquarian energy can cause people to face the fear and do what needs to be done, without getting emotionally bogged down. Aquarius is most typically a sign connected to helping the group, the world, but Aquarius can also detach and upset and disrupt, using chaos to get things re-organized. But first comes chaos. Uranus is in this mix and is the ruler of Aquarius and is hangin’ with sis Eris, a fellow hellion, and they are disrupting the earth, the banks, the status quo, the government, institutions. If you are tired of this, better get used to surfin’, because we will be riding this wave until 2025. We get a slight reprieve from November to March 2019 when we revisit Uranus in Aries. (I relate that to Arab Spring, and it is connected to fiery Leo-like, toddler (or mid-life crisis!) stuff—”I want what I want, and I want it now!”) But let’s be truthful, Uranus in Aries was a time of ISIS and Ferguson, MO and disappearing/crashing airplanes. I could do without it; how about you?
Speaking of re-visiting… we have Chiron in Aries, keepin’ that energy of which I just spoke, alive…well, Chiron is the wounded healer. We are limping along after the last years of suffering, and now we need to heal ourselves of what happened since 2010. So, we are going to heal ourselves and take back our power. But, as above, so below, Chiron was in Pisces since after the housing crisis. Chiron and Neptune conspired to blindside us in, what else? Disruptive Aquarius, detaching many from their homes. We started off 2009 & 2010 depressed and then realized we had been victimized. We felt vulnerable and played the victim. This was perfect for all the folks comin’ in to ride roughshod over the downtrodden. (I live in Oklahoma. All I have to say is: Mary Fallin, the most unpopular governor in the US of A, and ‘nough said.) Yeah, we’ve been feeling pretty down and out, and it’s taken a Gemini Sun (con man) with Leo rising (it’s all about me!) with Zeus on the horizon (I’m the greatest) to get our feathers ruffled and make folks not even care if they have been taken advantage of; they are going to stand up and do something, ANYthing. And then there’s the folks who don’t even know yet that they’ve been taken advantage of: the conspiracy theorists, farmers, machine workers and coal miners who voted for 45, people still paying for Iraqi dinars & other imaginary Ponzi scheme $, and grown females. Dream on! Neptune is still in Pisces until 2024, so enjoy the veil!
But back to plumbing…Mars is retrograde until August 28. What that means is, we can expect to stay constipated for another month, but if you eat the right foods, exercise, take a few laxatives and maybe a colonic, you can start the process of clearing out the crap. Expect a big ol’ sh**-slide in September! Should be fun! All the stuff that’s been backed up since March will let ‘er rip. Could be exciting, huh? Meanwhile, don’t get down; do your due diligence and prepare for the slide. People in Cali better beware, though, because it seems mudslides follow fires, and sometimes some of this astro-stuff is remarkably predictive. 😉 Folks who can’t seem to muster the get up and go right now—people who feel delays—the sludge and slogging will come to an end by September.
Currently, we have a Mercury Retrograde in Leo, meaning you can’t expect to hear the truth, the whole truth, or anything but the truth until at least August 18th. Even then, you know we are dealing with liars and con men, right? Look, you have to think not only how DT, Putin, and his ilk do it, but also you! How do you lie? Is it for a good reason? Maybe you need to keep your job for another month? Maybe you can’t tell your partner how much you spent on his birthday present. And more? Are you letting the world know who you truly are, what you really believe? Well, yeah, now is not the time to let that out. Mum’s the word, for now. In mid-August, then you can share. Still, that’s not a license to be unkind, only a go-ahead to be truthful with yourself and become a more conscious (and conscientious) individual.
Because of Mercury “coming out” and moving forward just as it hits a square aspect with Jupiter in Scorpio, the cosmic enema, I can assure you that someone will have diarrhea of the mouth about August 18/19. Scorpio is buried stuff, psychological stuff, and secret stuff as well as sex stuff. I feel a Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky moment coming when Jupiter finally hits Sagittarius in mid-November, along with the Sun. Dirty laundry, anyone? Panties, in particular? If you look at the sky chart, you’ll notice that all the bigger, slow-moving planets have passed our Autumn-time zodiac signs. All those snail-speed large planets were what crawled through the underworld of our subconscious, our secrets, our dark corners and recesses, the bowels of our lives since 2008 or so—ah, the housing crisis. Hmm…Anyway, ask yourself what happened in 2007/2008 that then sent you into an underworld of sorts? Everything is now being released, as Jupiter is the last slow planet to make that pass through Scorpio. We won’t have to deal with that again until about 2029, and by then, we’ll be pretty well reamed out. Scorpio and slow planets: our personal Roto-rooter team!
Meanwhile, in the middle of the stuck Mars (can’t get anything done) & Mercury communication breakdown, we have another partial solar eclipse on August 11th in, what else, LEO. Leo eclipses have been all the rage in recent years, to get us used to realizing that not only do we deserve love and we are lovable but also that we can be loving. Each person is in control of his or her own life—not DT, not our parents, our kids, our partners, or even the government. You are the only true authority in your life, and you are a co-creator (with the rest of us) in it. These Leo/Aquarius eclipses will come home to roost in the third week of January next year as we revisit some of the summer’s issues in preparation for moving into a new era by March. (Oprah for prez, anyone?) We already experienced the beginning of a revolution, but what happened was, we slipped into the Twilight Zone. Well, there will be other time warps to come, so if we slipped in, we can slip out and try something else, and we will. The Anti-Universe has its purpose: you can’t see what needs to be fixed if it’s dark out: you gotta shed light on it. Now we have lights, cameras (in our phones) and action. If you keep shining the light, the dark will eventually have nowhere to hide. Create more light! That’s the answer!
The Leo eclipse will yet be the beginning (new moon), the unearthing of what will come out as Mercury drives forward August 18. Every week, stuff will be happening, as the eclipses and the disruptors set our secrets and our bowels to rumbling. Get the Peptobismol! There’s a reason it’s pink; love is the answer! (Ha ha) Needless to say, with Cheeto-Man having Leo rising, these eclipses are hitting him hard and right in the karmic-gut, which is the solar plexus, by the way, about POWER. (That’s why his waistline is expanding—it’s not just all that KFC!) For those of you have any doubts about what will happen, let’s just say, he won’t escape unscathed. I must also add, that since Hillary is a Super-Scorpio, and she is undergoing the last of the Scorpio pass, she could find herself redeemed. It isn’t over for Hillary. She lost and was questioned mercilessly during major passes through her 12th house; now the DT is experiencing something similar. Unfortunately for Melania, this whole situation—she’s a Taurus (all about beauty & money), and Uranus and other planets are disrupting her life and DT’s partnerships. The scene will be littered with bodies. (That could be a bigger joke than I know!) Again, big bangs in January, Aquarius time. (OMG, unwitting double-entendres!) 😉
Meanwhile, Saturn, the cosmic piano teacher & disciplinarian, happy but backwards in its own sign of sober Daddy-sign Capricorn has been and will continue to trine rebellious Uranus, who has been trying to up-end everything we thought was secure. Screw that! Trines make things easy, but there’s good news and bad news to that. A trine will make it easy for some to control (Saturn) the chaos (Uranus); however, the retrograde motion will lessen its power to control until, oh, Labor Day. Then, the metaphoric nun gets her metaphoric ruler—or, you could say, the proverbial headmaster gets his proverbial paddle— either way, looks like the first week of September should be a WOW.
Mars will keep upsetting things. The Old Guard will keep trying to control the narrative, keep things under wraps, and keep us in the dark, but as Venus goes into Scorpio to join Jupiter, and Mercury hits detail-oriented Virgo, we are likely to hear everything that got dug up. Yep, there’s bound to be some sexy-time talk. Now, in your personal life, that might be a good thing, but all the Scorpios, including Hillary, had better watch out that their bid’ness isn’t on the line for all to see. I mean it. Close those sexy-time accounts, people. If you can keep the magnetic power under control, once you get to October, you may have a very sensual romantic partner come your way—or at least a very karmic one, as Venus goes retrograde from October 6 to November 16. I mean, I think that all this talk of sex in the news is going to get everyone hornified. Some will get horni-FRIED, so be careful, all. When I say wrap it up, I mean it. When I say, close doors and don’t take pictures or record your escapades, I mean it. Why? Well, unless you want everything to COME OUT, as they say. I mean it. This is the age of no privacy, after all. #MeToo is going to get an even bigger boost.
Why can’t I keep it quiet, you ask? Because the nature of Jupiter is to release, make things bigger, and let go. The nature of Mercury in Virgo is to tell all, down to the nth degree, and typically, not politely. Neptune in Pisces will oppose the Sun, meaning folks won’t be seeing clearly, if at all. They may be snowed, in love, misled…or just deceived. Don’t be surprised, and don’t get your feelings hurt. Mars keeps being activated by the past and is in challenging aspect to the unexpected, Uranus. We shall have an exciting fall.
If you want to know what happens in October & November, go visit me on and sign up for a membership. There are twelve different choices. Once you sign up, I will personally answer you to find out your birth info, and this will then allow you to see what will be happening in October & November. You’ll also get bonus reports for signing up, so enjoy! Meanwhile, hang tight! Or as the surfers say, hang ten—there’s 10 weeks until October and the fun begins! Cheers!

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